Panic Watch!

Mark your calendars folks, because we've got a lot of big events coming up!

• Armageddon occurs on March 21, 2008 according to a thorough (and we can only assume mathematical) analysis of hidden codes in the Bible.

• Christ's Millennial Reign begins on April 6, 2008 according to Philip P. Brown.

• The apocalypse begins sometime in May according to this Russian cult.

• The Apocalypse also begins December 21, 2008, according to Herbert R. Stollorz.

• Iran's president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad also sees the apocalypse happening sometime in 2008, and it will feature the return of the 12th Imam, "cosmic chaos, war, bloodshed and pestilence."

Hopefully these are as accurate as the 2007 predictions.