Panic Watch!

Editor's note: Clara has been filling our mailbox with her fascinating theories for months now. We have reached an agreement whereby she has agreed to stop in exchange for a short column on the page. Enjoy.

Economy in bad shape to be sure...I just seen on the TV that we's in an official depression. Now I been tellin people this for years now about it, and I been strugglin to make ends meet on a fixed income. What I got to tell you about today is somethin important to be sure. This economy is now forcing myself and lot of other senior citizen to go beneath our dignity and eat cat food.

I ain't proud to tell you that I bought two bag full of Sheba and some cans of Whiskas too at the store on Monday, and I sure as hell ain't proud to tell you I been eatin on that cat food quite a bit...but I has been. I take a can of Sheba prime cuts chicken and duck in sauce and luckily I got a stove where I could warm it up.

A little piece my dignity go down with every fork full of blue fin tuna, and I got to look on that damn happy cat lickin his lips on the lid every time. How you think it make me feel when the boy at the checkout ask me what all that cat food for, and I got to tell him its for Max or Buster or some other damn cat which I ain't got, but really my stomach rumblin cause I ran out of Fancy Feast the night before and I can't get to the store until after People's Court is over.

This the state of our economy, and its just goin worse and worse, I tell you.