|
Why It Matters
Posted June 11, 2009 by Shakti Sombrero
At a Monument of Sorrow, A Burst of Deadly Violence
Guard Killed, Suspect Injured Amid Scene Of Fear, Chaos At 12:40 p.m. yesterday a man stepped through the doors of the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum. He took two paces, lowered his rifle at a security guard and, before anyone could react, opened fire in a popular national landmark.
...
His online book, "Kill the Best Gentiles," contains hundreds of pages of conspiracy theories that include Holocaust denial, the ancient hoax of the "Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion" and wild webs of fantasy about Jewish plotting against white people.
Congratulations assface, you killed an innocent man because you have the credulity of a five-year-old and believe one of the world's oldest hoaxes.
People often ask: "Why does it matter if people believe in conspiracy theories? Everybody believes in one or another." This is why. Go ahead and add this to modern day witch burnings and people committing suicide because of the large hadron collider. Conspiracy theories kill, my friend.
Posted in Conspiracy Theories, Nutjobs
Top Secret Food Canning
Posted May 06, 2009 by Shakti Sombrero
Despite the fact that the media has an endless thirst for economic doom and gloom, for some reason they are "blacking out" an imminent food shortage in the United States that will be "the greatest disaster in the country's history". At least according to FoodShortageUSA.com.
Why is a "consumer reporter" selling us two Emergency DVDs for $39.95 + s&h? I don't know. What I do know is that you can tell at a glance that FoodShortageUSA is the real deal:
Mike warns us of empty grocery shelves during the first year of Obama's administration, food riots, murders for a loaf of bread, rapings for a box of raisins, and the usual roving bands of bikers with midgets riding on their backs who'd like nothing more than to steal your carrots.
 Whoa Mike, isn't that Spanish?
He advises us to "get off the grid" ASAP and is secretly offering us his two secret videos that contain ancient food canning secrets so that you can secrete your secret food deep in your cellar and/or Y2K bunker (I'll be damned if that thing doesn't come in handy an awful lot).
You might be asking yourself what kind of food canning secrets there could possibly be at this point in our civilization. What isn't already thoroughly documented in this one-cent book from Amazon? Indeed, an unsatisfied customer on Rip-off Report says the videos may be nothing more than copies of Mormon canning tutorials.
But our team of researchers finds all the hallmarks of a great deal here. Random testimonials from First-name-Last-initials who also decided to send in a photo of themselves for some reason? Check. Order method is writing "Food Storage Secrets" on a piece of paper and sending it along with a money order? Got it. Order "within the next 11 days" for a free bonus gift? Got that too. And don't forget an affiliate program with a hot babe holding wads of cash and some random food shortage spyware toolbar for your computer that provides no content but collects your personal information.
But hey, these guys are really just looking out for you and your family; a tip of our hat to them.
Hey Come Back, I Need Something To Panic About
Posted May 05, 2009 by Shakti Sombrero
HOW DARE YOU MAKE LIGHT OF SWINE FLU, IT'S THE PANDEMIC TO END ALL PANDEMICS! IT'S THE APOCALYPSE! IT'S THE ILLUMINATI! IT'S THE REPTOIDS! IT'S...abating?
That's right, it appears Swine Flu Mania 2K9 may be dying down. Drudge has cut down the number of headlines above the fold from six million to zero. All the major news sites are now filled with stories like...
Frankly it seems a little soon--SARS and bird flu both enjoyed long runs, and we fully expected swine flu to do the same. However there's still plenty of panic out there and we'll likely see reporters scramble to any possible resurgence.
Get Your Swine Flu Shot
Posted April 28, 2009 by Shakti Sombrero
Luckily we don't need to waste time making new swine flu commercials. We still have the ones from 1976.
 
Indeed, swine flu panic raced through the politically charged atmosphere of the 70s with a fury. Calls for worldwide mass vaccinations, worry of communist plots, vaccine fears, and mystery diseases swirled. In 1976 we were warned:
There is evidence there will be a major flu epidemic this coming fall. The indication is that we will see a return of the 1918 flu virus that is the most virulent form of the flu. In 1918 a half million Americans died. The projections are that this virus will kill one million Americans in 1976.
-- F. David Matthews, secretary of health, education, and welfare (Feb., 1976)
But mass vaccinations never reached the levels thought needed to avoid disaster. Less than a third of the population was vaccinated before the program was scrapped two months later.
Gerald Ford's attempt to gain credit for keeping America safe was busted. He lost the presidential election to Jimmy Carter that November. The 1976 to 1977 flu season was the most flu-free since records had been kept; a condition that was apparently unrelated to the vaccination program. The Great Swine Flu Epidemic of 1976 never took place.
Will 2009's version of the swine flu behave exactly like the 1976 one? Of course not. But the article is right: the last panic holds important lessons for this one, lest we repeat the same mistakes.
The NWO is Bio Beta-Testing
Posted April 28, 2009 by Indoles Eastlund
It was only a matter of time (hours really) until the detectives at Prison Planet discovered that the new swine flu outbreak is the NWO's newest form of bio-terror attack. Oh, but it's only a "beta-test".
{Swine Flu is} a hybrid strain created from human, swine, and bird flu from North America, Europe, and Asia. It was created in a laboratory. This doesn't happen in nature.
The author doesn't make it clear whether this is a new attack or whether they're using the same strain of swine flu they presumably used in 1976.
The NWO connection was forged by one the most trustworthy internet powerhouses: Alex Jones's Infowars.org (see red faced ranting here).
Evelyn Rothschild, David Rockefeller, the ruling elite, their numerous shadow government organizations, and their numerous agents of death, such as Henry Kissinger and Zbigniew Brzezinski, really are trying to depopulate and enslave the world. This is the real axis of evil. These trillionaires and owners of the central banks, media, other key industres, and governments are the real terrorists.
It's hard for me to believe this guy "predicted" the outbreak when my Main Man for all apocalyptic predictions, Web-bot, missed it completely.
Regardless of what bio-weapon tactics the NWO is using today or tomorrow or next month, we here at Panic Watch are still 100% committed to your saftey. Thus we humbly offer a link to your savior, the Office Pandemic Preparedness Defense Kit. Yours for $1999.
First-hand Swine Flu Account
Posted April 28, 2009 by Shakti Sombrero
As the UN warns the swine flu outbreak might become a pandemic , Tansy Huws, originally from London but now living in Mexico, contracted symptoms and was prescribed Tamiflu. She contacted the BBC News website and has been giving updates on her situation.
I went to the hospital on Saturday. There were many people at the hospital waiting to be diagnosed.
The test was very simple - they just asked me questions and measured my blood pressure.
They prescribed me Tamiflu and I am now feeling much better now. I went to a private hospital and was lucky enough to get the drugs but I don't think the state hospitals would be as well resourced.
I asked them if it was swine flu but they weren't very clear, the information wasn't very good.
Hard hitting blog journalism.
Mankind's Last Throes
Posted April 25, 2009 by Shakti Sombrero
Well you stop posting for a few days and you nearly miss the end of the world. Frankly, I knew this would happen which is why I installed a $5,000 Aether Monitoring Station on my roof to alert me to any apocalyptic oversights. This morning it was beeping off the charts so I fired up the Drudge Report to see what was the matter.
HOLY SHIT IT'S ALL OVER NOW, MEXICO DISEASE IS FINALLY SPREADING, THEY'RE CLOSING THE BORDERS, IT'S A
Oh wait it says NOT closing the borders...well what the hell ever.
THEY'RE CLOSING THE BORDERS, 20 CONFIRMED DEATHS OVER THE SPAN OF WEEKS, OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD I'M LOCKED AND LOADED AND JUST LIT MY GAS MOAT ON FIRE TRY TO GET GET THROUGH IT YOU SONS OF BITCHES JUST TRY IT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
So then I scroll down a bit and find that's not all. In fact I'm pretty sure the Seven Last Plagues are starting right here, right now. #1 is of course the Mexican Pig Flu. #2 is the Cornflaker Virus starting to attack our computers, probably perpetrated by the known devil-worshipers at Kellogg's.
#3 is global warming floods destroying igloos and forcing an Eskimo village of 300 people to move 9 miles away (thankfully CNN highlighted this one on their front page). #4 is naturally capitalism, a plague that Hugo Chavez and Fidel Castro have today revealed will destroy mankind.
Numbers 5, 6, and 7 are, respectively, the "tough times" economy which is forcing zoos to turn dangerous animals loose on the streets because they can't afford to feed them, the Italian Mafia, and tainted water.
When their powers combine, these Plagues are unstoppable. You can't hide in your house, your computer or your ocean, and even your mafia friends can't be trusted. Your only chance is in here with me, behind the fire moat, with my ten thousand leftover SARS masks. Bring your own assault rifles.
Russia & China To Lead NWO
Posted April 16, 2009 by Indoles Eastlund
Russian analyst Igor Panarin has doomed America to "six-rump states" by 2011 and claims Obama will order martial law in '09.
Panarin argued that Americans are in moral decline, saying their great psychological stress is evident from school shootings, the size of the prison population and the number of gay men.
And what of our lesbian population, Igor? We're assuming he's okay with that.
The 20-minute diatribe, detailing how America will fall harder than Russia circa 1989, seems to be a cry for any glimmer of attention. Panarin ensures us that "Russia and China will become the backbones of a new world order." Not everyone hopped on board though.
It wasn't clear how persuasive the 20-minute lecture was. One instructor asked Panarin whether his predictions more accurately describe Russia, which is undergoing its worst economic crisis in a decade as well as a demographic collapse that has led some scholars to predict the country's demise. 
This isn't the first time Panarin has doomed America. In 2008, he claimed America will be engaged in a civil war... this year! We're standing by with the Union colors, Igor.
Posted in Nutjobs, Media Panic
|
Top Threats!
Jan 25 - Mar 8, 2008
|
|||||||||||||||||
© 2008 Panicwatch.org